Hey! What is your relationship with yourself?

There are too many articles about teaching people how to get along with others, such as how to treat people frankly or how to build a positive relationship. Those methods are indeed important, people, however, ignore how to get along with themselves. We usually repress our ideas and cater to others’ opinions, sink our inner voice and keep quiet when facing conflicts, and neglect our own feeling but listen to others’ voices.

Therefore, our self-relationships are even worse than our relationships with our friends. We are not confident, we are disappointed by our defects, and we are annoyed by mistakes made by ourselves. People always believe we should review ourselves, but how to do that? Is it to criticize oneself? If it is true, who should we praise? Actually, in some cases, we are easier to be hurt by others due to our own denial. I don’t mean that even though we do some wrongs, we still keep doing and don’t change. What I am saying is that when we discover we did something wrong, we should not be trapped in endless and useless self-criticism.

Why it is important to have a positive relationship with yourself?

That is because only you know your vulnerable side, only you can accompany you to the end, and only you know your all hobbies and little secrets. Hence, you don’t have any reason to not get along with yourself.

So how do we build a good relationship with ourselves?

Firstly, we should accept failure because it is the only way to step forward, or you can only stay where you are and blame yourself.

Secondly, we should not suppress our emotions. There are lots of ways to refresh ourselves, and this isn’t the main point I want to illustrate. The thing I want to emphasize is when you are restless, please stand up and walk for a while to admire the stars in the sky. Instead of telling yourself, you should keep learning to finish this chapter. Your brain doesn’t want to acquire knowledge anymore because it needs you to relax.

Thirdly, we need to stand in one’s shoes to consider some things, which provides a chance to not be angry with others. Usually, some people may say something irrationally, which may annoy us, so we may reprehend why they have such a bad temper and speak bitterly. In contrast, if you can try to think what things cause them to be like that. Do they meet something unhappy? Are they sick today? You will think maybe there are some reasons that cause them irritation, so we will not go to bother.

Fourthly, we should not always predict something. Why do I come up with this idea? Because it is easy to establish some illusory correlations. For example, the sudden death of my plant will lead me to think there will be some bad to happen since I think the withered plant may symbolize something. Gradually, I don't emerge with such ideas because the occurrence of something only relates to some connected things. For instance, the sudden death of a plant may be only because I forgot to water it. There is no correlation with other things.

Last but not least, we should allow ourselves to have a 3-minute passion. We usually feel upset about why we don’t stick to one thing but go far away on the way of abandonment. However, the truth is that we don’t need to keep doing all things because our short passion is the best way to filter something that is not fit us. It is true that sometimes you know you should keep doing something, but you can’t do it due to procrastination, so try some self-encouragement to reward yourself. For example, tell yourself if you successfully adhere to one week or month, you can buy something you desire.

Actually, there are lots of methods that I have not mentioned above, but the most important thing is that don’t always compete with yourselves.

Original page cited: https://dengyy111.wixsite.com/-hug-me/blank-3 (Chinese Version Included)